I have to report that my wife (who is Chinese) and I are not the same. This has been confirmed over the years by a number of remarkable additions to the English language she has made. Some are not repeatable,
  But just to confirm that we are different, she has said that we are like cheese and chalk.
   Yes, I think that confirms it.

We went to a book launch the other day, up in Glasgow's Hillhead Library, where my own book was launched. This time it was the turn of Barrie Condon and Demons, a sort of murder mystery with a hint of the paranormal and lots of humour thrown in.
   As it happens I proofread this book so I know what I'm talking about for a change. Demons, published by Sparsile Books, is an enjoyable read and is, of course, remarkably free of typos. If you fancy reading a book that will make you smile and simultaneously make you wonder who (or what) dunnit, you won't do much better than Barrie's book.

Some time ago I tore tendons in my leg and was in agony for several weeks. Paracetamol didn't work. Neither did Aspirin or Ibroprufin or even Co-codamol. Not even the little black tablets the doctor gave me, whatever they were.
   In the end my wife (who is Chinese, remember) lost her temper and said, 'Why doesn't the doctor just prescribe you muffins?'
   Why not, indeed.